Consider the nymphs

I have been inspired a lot by nature recently. Those of you who use facebook may have seen some of my bug pictures! The truth is, I find God often brings insights to me through observing the ways of the natural world. There is so much truth to be gleaned from his creation about his ways, his character and his purposes and often I really need the help of a physical metaphor to help me understand.

This has happened recently with regard to some hard things one of our kids has been going through. It's not been easy for them and not easy for me to watch either. But God has been reminding me of his purposes through observing the lives of the insect nymphs I've been finding in the bushes. 

Grasshopper nymph in our back garden, Chiangmai

Did you know that grasshoppers typically molt about 5 times in their growth from nymph to adulthood? Each transformation involves the shedding of their protective exoskeleton and a temporary vulnerability as the new skin grows and hardens around them. The same is true for dragonflies (and many other insects) who molt up to 12 times and only grow their glorious wings after their very last molting.

Molted grasshopper exoskeleton, Doi Suthep

It has greatly encouraged me to reflect on these creatures as a picture for my kids and for myself. I like the idea that the exposed uncomfortable stage gives room for further growth. I see wisdom in how sometimes old skin just needs to be shed completely so that the new skin can be put on freely without the influence of the old lines and curves.

“You were taught . .  to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”  Eph 4: 22-24

I’m not sure whether insects feel fear and emotion as we do, but I can imagine that molting isn’t a particularly fun experience! No doubt, instinct tells the nymphs to hide and find a safe place as they lose the protection and security of their outer skin. I read recently that many insects don’t eat and have faltered breathing during their molting which usually takes between 8 and 10 hours. There’s nothing I can think of that is more vulnerable than losing your whole outer layer but in His wisdom, God ordained that this would be their path to maturity and finally the freedom of fully formed wings!

Spotted Grasshopper nymph with wings still not fully formed, Doi Suthep

I’m grateful for the lessons from the nymphs in this season of parenting and life. I wait in hope for the growth and transformation that comes through the hard and vulnerable times. It helps to reflect on God’s bigger purposes as I watch the struggles in my kids and I’m reminded that my job is not to intervene and stop the process but just to provide a safe place where the new skin can form and harden.

I am also aware that in this parable, we are all still juvenile nymphs struggling through seasons of uncomfortable change. My kids will not be free of exposed vulnerable times when they hit adulthood and I am not there yet either. I can look back and recognize seasons of intense upheaval, confusion and vulnerability in my own life and with the gift of hindsight, I can see some of the new skin that I put on in those times. There will no doubt be more to come too and I hope that then I will remember the nymphs and be able to hold on for the ride. Ultimately our final new skin is coming one day, and the "wings" will be even more glorious than the grasshopper's or the dragonfly's!

Scarlet skimmer dragonfly, wings in the sun, Sri Lanna National Park

Iceberg

We watched "Titanic" as a family last weekend. I wasn't prepared for how uncannily similar it would feel to what we are living right now and what I see being played out in vulnerable communities in Thailand, India and around the world. It inspired me to write this poem/prayer for increased awareness in these crazy times. 

This is not to belittle the challenges of self-isolation or the terrible sickness and loss in each one's own land. Or to make any of us feel guilty for having a stocked fridge and comfortable home as we sit out the social isolation. Rather, it is to help us gain perspective and grow in compassion and action as we see how this terrible iceberg impacts our brothers and sisters in our global community. 

Iceberg:

Here we sit in our lifeboats

A haven of safety on arctic seas

The iceberg hit and our plans were dashed

Fear overwhelms us for the future

Who knows for how long we will float?

Who knows for how long we will wait for rescue?

We huddle

We pray

We wait

We check our provisions

We encourage each other in the waiting

We sing to keep our spirits up

How long O Lord?

But have we seen those bobbing in the icy seas?

Their cries vanish in the vastness of the ocean

Our system was inadequate

There were not enough boats

Who knows how many will survive?

Who knows if rescue will come in time?

They cry out

They thrash

They cling to scraps of wood

They lose hope

Their strength is fading

Some have already gone under

How long O Lord?

O send our lifeboats back, O Lord

Extend your hand through us before it’s too late

Help us to see them

Through the mist of our own fear and anxiety

And forgive us O Lord

For building a cruise ship with not enough lifeboats

For the arrogance of thinking that our ship would not sink

For disregarding the plight of those in lower decks

Forgive us and make us whole again

Have mercy, O Lord.

It is not too late to turn around
Unlike the Titanic, our lifeboat will not tip if we go back in
We hear the cry and will not stay silent
We see the suffering and will not sit back
Use us O Lord
To reach out in love and compassion
To pull them from the icy seas
To cover them with our blankets
And to build from the wreckage a new ship
Where justice and compassion reign
And where there are enough boats for all.
May your Kingdom come, O Lord.

The in-between-ness of Advent

This year, the hope of Advent is holding particular meaning for me because I am waiting for something, aching for something for one of our children. It has been intense and really hard at times. But thanks to the wonderful Jesus community here, I have had lots of people point me towards hope and encourage me in the waiting. I wrote this poem recently and thought I would share it with you all.

There is a dawning between the darkness and the light

and that is where I am

Sometimes falling back into the dark

Sometimes leaning towards the light

But in the dawnlight nevertheless

It is dim but it is coming

I see it and I know

I will not be consumed by the darkness.

Photo credit Ned McNair, Hilton Head, North Carolina

There is a sprouting between the dry ground and the verdant pasture

and that is where I am

Small shoots, vulnerable and fragile

but a sprouting nevertheless

Tender unfurling of new growth

Becoming, emerging

 I feel it and I know

We are not yet what we will be.

Tropical ferns unfurling, Chiangmai, Thailand

There is an in-pouring between the emptiness and the fullness

and that is where I am

A slow drip, sometimes hardly noticeable

But a pouring in nevertheless

A puddle is made from tiny drops

An ocean is made from tiny puddles

I hear the raindrops and I know. 

Streams will flow in this desert. 

Rainy season droplets, Chiangmai, Thailand

There is a restoring between the brokenness and the wholeness

and that is where I am

Not overnight, not on my timeline perhaps

but a restoring nevertheless

I cling to the dream of shalom, 
peace, wholeness, harmony

And then I glimpse it when I least expect it

It surprises me but I should know by now

My brokenness is where he works best.

It's messy here in the in-between

Things are not yet as they will be

We wait, we hope, we groan with creation

How long, O Lord?

But we are not consumed

Beauty is coming from these ashes

Dawn is coming

He is coming

He is making all things new.

I pray this will be an encouragement to any of you who are also hoping for something this advent.

"But hope that is seen is no hope at all.

Who hopes for what they already have?

But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently."

Romans 8:24-25

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13