May musings

I thought I'd post a few snippets from our day-to-day life this month. It's May. The end of term is less than 3 weeks away and, as all teachers and parents know, it's a pretty mad and emotional time of year - tests, projects, awards (or not), graduations, farewells, parties. There's a lot for kids (and parents) to get frazzled about.. . . . . and a lot of reasons to turn to the Prince of Peace and rest in Him. Sometimes we do a better job of that than others but He is faithful.

Here's a few eclectic thoughts and pics from our activities this month.

The rains have come now, so the pollution is mostly gone (hallelujah!) and we are enjoying being outside again. Badminton in the garden in the evening, biking to school again and even a family bike ride this past weekend.

Just getting ready to turn into our driveway.

When we first came to Chiangmai on holiday from India, we hired bikes and rode around the old city, so somehow it feels reminiscent of being on holiday when we take the time to ride again. Always good to play tourist in your home town.

Biking amongst the pigeons and the tourists at Thapae Gate. 

We have also been making the most of time left with special friends. The end-of-year farewells when living overseas are hard, and this year particularly so for some of us. Our church does an annual farewell service at this time of year and our school puts on a sale for people to sell off their possessions before they pack up. Both of those were last weekend. The goodbyes are coming and we can't hold them back forever but we can make the most of good friends while they are here!

Game night with some dear friends this past weekend

At Thai Village, I got to visit a lovely elderly lady last week who gave me an interesting perspective on goodbyes. At 72, she had recently lost her husband of over 50 years but she told us she didn't want to be sad "because then his spirit won't be able to leave." Instead, you could see the joy in her as she reminisced about their shared experiences together.

Sharing stories over a fried ant snack! (Look carefully in their hands). Even my Thai colleagues were a little bit dubious about chewing it so I didn't feel so bad for only taking a token bite!

During this conversation under a tree we found out that in her culture (Northern Thai), if a young man touched a woman at all, it meant he had to marry her. She explained how she met her husband working in the fields and because he touched her foot when they were gathering the crop, that was it, their future together was sealed! I'm not sure if she was making it more dramatic than it was but how fascinating to learn about these different concepts of courtship and marriage. I was grateful for this window on a life so alien to my own and yet, despite huge language and cultural differences, we could still enjoy a shared moment together in the shade.

Well I told you it was an eclectic post this month! Thanks for reading and being interested in our lives here in Chiangmai! Next month - our first trip to the US in 4 years!

So how was your summer?

School started again here yesterday. That means we're all asking each other that inevitable back-to-school question, knowing full well it's impossible to sum up your summer in a couple of sentences.

This summer for us has, in many ways, been a microcosm of the full range of experiences and emotions that go along with a life overseas. Let me try to recap . . . 

One of our children had hard goodbyes at the end of the semester with close friends who were leaving back to their home country; we had wonderful visits from family and friends which filled our whole summer with joy; we got to travel to new places and combined visa runs with relaxing stays on tropical beaches; we experienced frustration in discovering that the immigration laws had changed by the time we got back and my freshly stamped visa suddenly became no longer my best option to work here longterm; we longed to be back in our other home with the news of the loss of a dear Grandad (in UK); we grieved from afar and talked for hours on skype and messenger to stay connected with family in far away places; we cherished the moments with dear ones visiting, knowing that all too soon they would be leaving and cramming as much as we could into that short precious space in time. 

Grandma love at the end of the school year

Auntie Rachael in Vietnam with us - one of the best travelling companions a family could hope for! 

Buying plants in memory of a dear Grandad who loved to tend his beautiful garden.

Reconnecting families - Tina and I haven't had extended time together since our kids were born so their visit was a huge gift for all of us.

So yes, our summer was wonderful . . . . .with sadnesses and stresses mingled in. We felt the distance intensely, especially in the loss of our dear Grandad but also when that distance was breached for a brief window and we got a taste of being with those who are usually so far away. Distance sucks, but one thing is for sure - it certainly makes you cherish the together-time all the more.

Amazingly, thanks to the very generous gifts of some family members, we are going to be able to travel to the UK later this week to attend Grandad's funeral and be with family. That is not something we take for granted with the life decisions we have made so we are very grateful for that.

I leave you with a picture of this dear man, taken earlier this year when he blessed us all with his presence all the way over here in Thailand at the ripe age of 88. We will miss you Grandad. 

Learning to sing

When we were in Ho Chi Minh City, we visited Tao Dan Park a couple of times early in the morning. Amongst all the Vietnamese out doing Tai Chi and other forms of exercise, this park is famous for one cafe on the corner where "birdmen" bring their prized caged birds to learn to sing from other birds.

The birds are strategically placed on the railings to be close to other particularly vocal birds and far away from humans who interfere with their capacity to sing apparently. We discovered this after we got a little close to some of them and were briskly waved away by the owners. The birdmen can be quite protective of their songbird and seem to pay a lot of attention  - providing morsels of food, moving them occasionally to a different spot, making sure no annoying foreigner gets too close and staring at their bird incessantly.

We discovered later the reason for the vigilance - some of these birds are apparently worth a lot of money. Birdsong competitions are held throughout Ho Chi Minh and owners of the most talented songbirds can rake in significant cash. This also explains the pride and self-gratification on the faces of the mostly older men as they showed off their prized possession to the rookies.

All in all, it was quite a unique and surreal experience to observe.  The sound was beautiful as you can imagine but  the dedication and care of the owners was the most fascinating.

It has made me reflect on the many times I too have been been brought to a place of learning and growth in specific skills or traits that I lacked. In His great wisdom my own dedicated Birdman has led me to those who could model for me what I could not learn by myself. 

I think of a dear friend who taught me to stop and rest when I was 17 and overstressed; I think of my sister who's joy for life always reminds me to take life lightly and to find the wonder in the ordinary; I think of the faith that was built during my first missions experience after college due mostly to the bold faith of those around me; and I think of many dear friends including my husband who's qualities I admire and learn from every day. I'm so thankful for each of those songbirds that have brought beauty to my life and for the One who has hung my cage beside theirs for a season so I could absorb and soak up their song.

As the morning wound down in Tao Dan Park, most of the  men decided their bird had had enough learning for today and gently covered the cages with a dark cloth, removing them from the courtyard. 

It was time to take them home to rest . . . . maybe the bird needed some peace and quiet to absorb what he had just heard or maybe the owner just had to get to work for the day . . . . . but the beautiful chorus died down and the railings were emptied until another morning. I think I'm a bird who would prefer to hang with other birds all day, but I need that space too, to reflect on what I'm learning and to incorporate those new songs into my own life. 

Where are you today? What are the birdsongs that you are learning? And do you see the Birdman gently leading you with just as much as you can handle for the day? Join me as I look for the songbirds around me today and thank God for them.

Songkran and the power of play

This week is Thai New Year and we have had so much fun joining the Songkran celebrations.

Thais mark the beginning of their New Year by splashing water on each other to wash away the misfortune of the passing year. Traditionally, they use small bowls to sprinkle flower-scented water on the hands of elders as a sign of respect and blessing.

Scented water and buckets for sale on Tha Phae Road

Over the years though and especially in Chiang Mai, Songkran has grown into a big city-wide water fight lasting 5 days. It's Thailand's most famous festival, it's chaotic (especially in certain places in town) and as far as my boys are concerned, it's pretty much the best holiday in Thailand!

Be afraid, be very afraid!

Water-gun battles between open tuk-tuks and pedestrians on Tha Phae Road 

Refuelling at one of the many tubs placed by vendors outside their stores to facilitate the fun. 

One of the things I love about Songkran is that it feels like a real community-wide event. It is played on the streets with people you've never met before. Old and young, tourists and locals, rich and poor are all mixed up together. Those lines don't exist when you have a loaded water-gun in hand and that's a really good thing in a world normally so divided.

Last year we played with some lovely Thai ladies who were visiting from Bangkok. They invited us to play with them again this year but sadly we couldn't find them in the mayhem.

These ladies taught us how it was done in our first Songkran last year!

This year we played downtown with a mix of tourists and locals and we also played a lot at home with our Burmese neighbors. These are poor refugee families living opposite us who usually we struggle to communicate with. But no language is needed for water play!

I am reminded a little of the Holi celebrations in India. There, we didn't participate in the city-wide festival in the same way since the kids were less comfortable with having coloured powder rubbed into their faces. But Holi has the same community focus, the same chaos, the same focus on play and the same sense of invitation to all.

This was our own very tame version of Holi in our back yard.

I think what these festivals have taught me is the power of play to bring people together. Perhaps it can even influence how we think about our own traditional festivities. I'm pretty sure our Burmese neighbors would feel very uncomfortable if we invited them over for Christmas dinner. But there's something about play that strips away those social, economic and cultural boundaries. I loved seeing that this Songkran and I long for more of it. 

So Happy Thai New Year to all my friends and family! May we find ways to cross the lines that divide our communities in this year ahead. 


Footnote: If you would like to see more of what Songkran really looks like, click here for a fun 1-minute video. (My photos really don't do it justice!)

Family life unmasked

So we have had a LOT of visitors recently! It's been wonderful. If you live overseas, you will know how much of a gift it is when people take the time to come and get to know your world. 

Relationships are deepened. The unknowns here suddenly become known to family and friends and we feel more whole, more connected, more understood. Points of reference are laid for future skype conversations, memories are made and packages of goodies are shared from our other "home".  

We will never take for granted a friend or family member who is willing to make the financial and time investment to come and see us. . . . and we say thank you to those who have come and to those that are to come!

Grandma and Grandad came in February. It was the first time they'd made it to Thailand and it was huge to share our world with them. 

Travelling is no mean feat when you're 87 and we were all so impressed with how Grandad navigated outings with his handy walker.

2 days after waving off the grandparents, our good friend Auntie Susie arrived. Susie wins the prize for my most faithful visitor having visited me in Mexico, US, India, Sri Lanka and now Thailand. She has shared a lot of worlds with us and we love that. 

And then we had the joy of my sister - basically nothing beats sisters in my book. The time went by all too fast.  

Each of these visits were a huge blessing to us and we hope to them. . . .but not without some tension. The thing about having people stay with you for long periods, is you are exposed - family life in all it's glory! This was term-time and life was full and busy. Kids were overtired and overwhelmed, adults were over-reactive and over-stressed and there were times when everything was bubbling over! 

Who wants to go on a bike ride?

We were grateful when guests mucked in to cheer up a grumpy kid, or when space was given to calm and settle after a busy day or when kids were invited out to give me some space to make dinner!

It's in these times that we all want to be shown grace and to know we're not being judged.  In the middle of all these ups and downs, I reflected that if we wanted to preserve a glowing image of our kids and our parenting, then we should probably limit our visitors to a few weeks in the summer when everyone is relaxed and perhaps some time over Christmas break (or maybe not even that!).  But the truth is actually, deep down, we want to be known in our mess - because only then can we be loved for who we are, mummy meltdowns and all.

So we embrace the visitors! We already miss the ones that have gone and we're excited for the ones who are coming this spring and summer (you know who you are!). Just know, there will be no hiding behind masks. If you see our rough edges, we ask for grace and if yours are exposed, we promise to show you grace too. Thank you in advance for loving us just as we are.